Alright, so there are some pretty interesting things happening for me since I have written last.
I recently purchased a gc2b binder and have never been happier with a binder. I got the right size from my guess and the first time I tried it on I was so happy. It is FAR more comfortable than the other ones that I have used over the years. And it actually wasn't expensive, which is even cooler to me.
Then I got packing briefs finally and too many failed attempts at making my own. I love it. I feel much more comfortable when I go places. I am loving being able to use my packer. I have had it for over a year and had never used it in reality.
And in other news, we did some grocery shopping and I grabbed a ton of fruit and some healthier things for me to eat. I am trying to make plans to make things work better in my health. I am trying to eat a little less and better. I had to stop my cholesterol med cause it was having issues with my liver. So, i am doing things to deal with that.
I forced myself to fill out some paperwork, wrote a letter, did some reading, did some laundry with Kat, cleaned a good quarter of the room... I am trying to figure out things to keep me going. I will write more in awhile. I am going to try to help get Aedan ready for bed.
-oo-
Showing posts with label ftm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ftm. Show all posts
Monday, March 2, 2015
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
to donate anything towards my top surgery
https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/79h5/aiden-willows-top-surgery-funding
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
fundraising page in progress
i am working on setting up a fundraising page where all of my fundraising, contributions and so forth will be centralized so they are easier to keep track of.
http://wtsf-ftm.blogspot.com/
please check it out. i do not have the sites to contribute or purchase anything finished yet but i will have them done soon and i will be letting people know as soon as they are ready to get going.
random other things happening but nothing major at the moment. getting more stickers in the mail still, free magazines, samples and so forth. enjoying writing emails to companies and getting free products, catalogues, stickers and everything the like. i have an awesome collection of stickers for when i start my art desk but i am not starting one until we figure out where we are moving.
kat got promoted so we are for sure going to move. we are hoping to get a three bedroom so that i will be able to have an office to work on my artwork and writing in a space that is set up to do so that the child and animals can not get to. i am hoping that all goes as planned. we will see how everything goes, i suppose.
well, gonna have to get ready to go pick up kat from work so i will write more later.
-AW
http://wtsf-ftm.blogspot.com/
please check it out. i do not have the sites to contribute or purchase anything finished yet but i will have them done soon and i will be letting people know as soon as they are ready to get going.
random other things happening but nothing major at the moment. getting more stickers in the mail still, free magazines, samples and so forth. enjoying writing emails to companies and getting free products, catalogues, stickers and everything the like. i have an awesome collection of stickers for when i start my art desk but i am not starting one until we figure out where we are moving.
kat got promoted so we are for sure going to move. we are hoping to get a three bedroom so that i will be able to have an office to work on my artwork and writing in a space that is set up to do so that the child and animals can not get to. i am hoping that all goes as planned. we will see how everything goes, i suppose.
well, gonna have to get ready to go pick up kat from work so i will write more later.
-AW
Monday, May 20, 2013
looking into the past
so,
today i basically spent the entire day searching online for things i
can use in my story that i am going to start writing soon. did a lot
of marking of pages about insane asylums and so forth around the
30's- 60's. i haven't decided exactly what time period to have it
placed in. but we will see as i do more research about everything. I
am hoping to pay off my library fines so that I can check out some
books and dvds if I can find any of those or anything. I am going to
try to look into every single way that I can do the research and try
to make it as accurate as possible. The psych ward part is the major
thing that I need to make accurate and depending on the time period I
will go from there into where I decide to write the story, the final
decisions and everything else. One step at a time then they lead to
the details. I am going to try to write this the best way I know how
and take it slow but try to stay focused as much as possible.
I have basically be
watching tons of horror movies and dramas about psych wards, not
matter what time period they are in and just trying to get into the
right state of mind. I am going to be doing nothing but trying to
surround myself with things like this and trying to do mental
disorders so I can define and explain why she is in there other than
killing people. I know the basics of what she is going to do but I
need to figure out what things she is feeling, seeing and so forth to
bring her to the point of killing people other than the plot that she
has already been given that I will not talk about yet.
There are a lot of ideas
racing through my head about where I want the story to go, what I
want the basics to be... but I am not totally sure what I want to do
yet. I will take it one step at a time.
Still getting more
stickers and random things every day. I am loving it. :) I am so glad
I signed up and asked for all the stickers from people. I think I am
going to do another list of emails but I need to try to make sure I
don't email the same people I have already emailed. That is gonna be
the toughest part cause I am going to have to go back through the old
emails, I think.
Let's see... anything else
to write about? I have officially switched to weekly shots. We will
see how the changes come from here. I am going to be keeping
everything documented in my shot journal like I have been but I need
to make sure I write more in it each time. I didn't take very good
records of the first year and I kind of wish that I would have. I
know I could have but oh well, gotta start now, I guess.
Well, I am good for now
since blogger is being weird.
Love, Peace and Chicken
Grease, y'all
-Aiden
Thursday, May 9, 2013
life changes round 907
got some more cool things in the mail today.
had a generally pretty good day. went to my endocriniligist appointment down in duluth and was able to get my testosterone injection dose upped and now we are doing them weekly instead of every other week, which i think will be a lot better. now i just have to get on some trails to try to figure out this whole getting top surgery thing. see if there are any options for getting covered by insurance, if not... try to find ways to start raising money, including selling things, selling artwork/ tattoo designs, etc. i have to find ways to do it. i want to be able to go down to dr. garramone in florida so it might be a bit pricy. but if i am going to have to pay for it out of pocket i am going to go to the best. he is the top surgeon in the field right now, so i am really hoping that maybe we are able to do that. i have talked to kat about possibly taking out a loan or something but we will see. one step at a time. first we need to see if maybe my insurance will cover something.
let's see. i am thinking i am going to make a video tonight after i drop kat off at work. she is going to work at midnight so possibly after that. i really need to make a new video. bad. so, we will see. i will figure out how i feel when i get back. i am debating a few things but i should really work on that. i wish i knew what ever happened to my camera stand cause it would bt cool to paint under blacklight and record it all happening and then fast forward it in video... hrm... maybe i could figure out a way to do it... i will try to think about this... that could be fun!
i will have to leave this up or something to make sure that i remember that i wanted to do that. not sure if i will do it but it could be fun! :D i am in the middle of doing the background for something so i could either work with that one or start over with something. hrm... not sure yet. we will see what i feel like later.
the one i am working on right now, i wish i had black paint pens like i used to because that would come in SO handy at ts point. bah. i miss the days when i had those all the time in high school and was getting them for free from mr. domeqc. i always used them and i loved them SOOO much. they made outlining things much easier than trying to do it the other way.
i might do some writing soon. i am thinking about setting myself a schedule of doing certain activites for certain times of the day. making myself wake up by a certain time and going through a schedule like when i was in treatment. maybe find some online groups during certain hours. possibly. we will see. but i want to set aside at least an hour for art, an hour for writing, once a week a video, working out at least every few days until i can work out every day without killing myself. set certain alarms on my phone. literally FORCE myself to get into the habits that i need to be in. work out a diet and stick to it by shopping and only getting things that will fit into it but allowing a little bit of wiggle room for when i have dinner with the family. lunches should be healthy, same with breakfast. and cutting back slowly on the amounts of what i am eating and try to eat slower.
i am trying not to do too many things at once but i feel and think that i do it this way, it will help. and i will force myself to be accountable. because i will allow myself to do something good if i do the things i don't like to do. like, i can only go online if the dishes are done. or i can only play on the xbox if the living room is at least decently clean and organized. try to figure out things like that. i think it would be really good to do things like that. my therapist would agree for sure.
i just want things to get better. if it is not HUGE that is fine, i have to be happy for the little things. baby steps are how one gets to big steps. you have to start somewhere, you have to start small or you will fall. well, that is the case for most people but anywho...
things right now are going pretty well though. nothing major happening but TRYing to stay positive... keep my head up even when things don't go as well as i want, if i eat too much, if i mess up and forget to do something... i need to try not to get overwhelmed SO fast. i know it is a part of my borderline personality disorder BUT i want to at least say that i am trying to get better, trying to make things better. i feel as though i have backslid a bit and i don't like that. i dunno if i will ever get to where i was before in my life but i really want to try. and to get healthier. that is my main goal. to feel better, not be a loner in the apartment all the time, try to live a somewhat more organized life and try to socialize more outside of the apartment. even if it means just going to sit at a friends house insteat of having everyone come here all the time. that is what happens here other than with our friends AJ but he lives across the street. haha
so i am getting more stubble when i shave on my mustache area. here comes the creepy mustache. haha. i dont think that i will EVER have a mustache cause they weird me out but who knows, maybe at some point i will have one for a bit. along with a mullet. lmfao. sorry, i doubt i will ever have a mustache.
i really need to get my hair trimmed up. i am growing out the top but i really need the long stuff in the back gone and the sides. bah.
man, i can't stop yawning and stretcing for some reason. i may have to sleep a little while kat is at work. weird... we will see. haha. just take it as it comes, i suppose.
well, gonna go for now because i am going to be bringing her to work shortly.
love, peace and chicken grease.
-Aiden
had a generally pretty good day. went to my endocriniligist appointment down in duluth and was able to get my testosterone injection dose upped and now we are doing them weekly instead of every other week, which i think will be a lot better. now i just have to get on some trails to try to figure out this whole getting top surgery thing. see if there are any options for getting covered by insurance, if not... try to find ways to start raising money, including selling things, selling artwork/ tattoo designs, etc. i have to find ways to do it. i want to be able to go down to dr. garramone in florida so it might be a bit pricy. but if i am going to have to pay for it out of pocket i am going to go to the best. he is the top surgeon in the field right now, so i am really hoping that maybe we are able to do that. i have talked to kat about possibly taking out a loan or something but we will see. one step at a time. first we need to see if maybe my insurance will cover something.
let's see. i am thinking i am going to make a video tonight after i drop kat off at work. she is going to work at midnight so possibly after that. i really need to make a new video. bad. so, we will see. i will figure out how i feel when i get back. i am debating a few things but i should really work on that. i wish i knew what ever happened to my camera stand cause it would bt cool to paint under blacklight and record it all happening and then fast forward it in video... hrm... maybe i could figure out a way to do it... i will try to think about this... that could be fun!
i will have to leave this up or something to make sure that i remember that i wanted to do that. not sure if i will do it but it could be fun! :D i am in the middle of doing the background for something so i could either work with that one or start over with something. hrm... not sure yet. we will see what i feel like later.
the one i am working on right now, i wish i had black paint pens like i used to because that would come in SO handy at ts point. bah. i miss the days when i had those all the time in high school and was getting them for free from mr. domeqc. i always used them and i loved them SOOO much. they made outlining things much easier than trying to do it the other way.
i might do some writing soon. i am thinking about setting myself a schedule of doing certain activites for certain times of the day. making myself wake up by a certain time and going through a schedule like when i was in treatment. maybe find some online groups during certain hours. possibly. we will see. but i want to set aside at least an hour for art, an hour for writing, once a week a video, working out at least every few days until i can work out every day without killing myself. set certain alarms on my phone. literally FORCE myself to get into the habits that i need to be in. work out a diet and stick to it by shopping and only getting things that will fit into it but allowing a little bit of wiggle room for when i have dinner with the family. lunches should be healthy, same with breakfast. and cutting back slowly on the amounts of what i am eating and try to eat slower.
i am trying not to do too many things at once but i feel and think that i do it this way, it will help. and i will force myself to be accountable. because i will allow myself to do something good if i do the things i don't like to do. like, i can only go online if the dishes are done. or i can only play on the xbox if the living room is at least decently clean and organized. try to figure out things like that. i think it would be really good to do things like that. my therapist would agree for sure.
i just want things to get better. if it is not HUGE that is fine, i have to be happy for the little things. baby steps are how one gets to big steps. you have to start somewhere, you have to start small or you will fall. well, that is the case for most people but anywho...
things right now are going pretty well though. nothing major happening but TRYing to stay positive... keep my head up even when things don't go as well as i want, if i eat too much, if i mess up and forget to do something... i need to try not to get overwhelmed SO fast. i know it is a part of my borderline personality disorder BUT i want to at least say that i am trying to get better, trying to make things better. i feel as though i have backslid a bit and i don't like that. i dunno if i will ever get to where i was before in my life but i really want to try. and to get healthier. that is my main goal. to feel better, not be a loner in the apartment all the time, try to live a somewhat more organized life and try to socialize more outside of the apartment. even if it means just going to sit at a friends house insteat of having everyone come here all the time. that is what happens here other than with our friends AJ but he lives across the street. haha
so i am getting more stubble when i shave on my mustache area. here comes the creepy mustache. haha. i dont think that i will EVER have a mustache cause they weird me out but who knows, maybe at some point i will have one for a bit. along with a mullet. lmfao. sorry, i doubt i will ever have a mustache.
i really need to get my hair trimmed up. i am growing out the top but i really need the long stuff in the back gone and the sides. bah.
man, i can't stop yawning and stretcing for some reason. i may have to sleep a little while kat is at work. weird... we will see. haha. just take it as it comes, i suppose.
well, gonna go for now because i am going to be bringing her to work shortly.
love, peace and chicken grease.
-Aiden
Sunday, May 5, 2013
a copy of my countdown to my birthday [2013]
18 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY....
as promised, here is a random thing about me for day 19. there will be a random thing posted every day until my birthday. some things people may know who are close to me, some no one may know...
i was in ballet from the age of 3-13. i was in ballet, tap, jazz, modern and baton. here is one of the pictures i was able to find for you to laugh at... ENJOY
17 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY...
i was born Megan Lynne Kilgore. i am an only child, an only grandchild for my grandfather because my mom had a different father than the rest of my aunts and uncles.
16 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY...
i have a weird love for redheads. whether they are guys, girls, animals, etc. some of my favorite actors and actresses are redheads. some of my favorite redheads are:
Marg Helgenberger, kate winslet, Julianne Moore, Susan Sarandon, Geri Halliwell,Bernadette Peters, Ann Margaret, Conan O'Brien, Nicole Kidman, Gillian Anderson,Lindsay Lohan [before she went all cracked out and crazy and shit], Isla Lang Fisher, Amy Adams, Emma Stone, Willie Nelson, David Caruso, Seth Green, Michael C. Hall [yeah, a natural redhead believe it or not], Danny Elfman [to most amazing composer... has been involved in pretty much EVERY tim burton movie...], Adam Savage, Alan Tudyk, Damian Lewis, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Louis C.K., Bette Middler, Rupert Grint!!!,Simon Pegg, Tilda Swinton, Reba McEntire, Kathy Griffin, Zack Ward, Carol Burnett, Debbie Reynolds, Frances Fisher, JUDY GARLAND, Amy Yasbeck, Annette Bening, Alyson Hannigan, Gates McFadden [who was my first ever crush] ...
there are a TON more but i am going to leave it there cause there are already three of these. haha. but, like i said...
i ♥ redheads... not sure why... but have my entire life
15 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!
some of my favorite movies are:
ELF, pitch perfect, shaun of the dead, the high school musical movies, the wizard of oz, a star is born [the judy garland version], pretty much anything tim burton, smiley face, the toy story movies, hedwig and the angry inch, fear and loathing in las vegas, breakfast club, donny darko, all the batman movies, house bunny, sucker punch, reefer madness [newer one], the alien series, THOR!, chicago, grumpy and grumpier old men, mean girls, the cell, a bunch more...
14 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY
i have been to college twice. once for my generals and once for graphic design. i failed out the first time adn the second time i was going to take a break because i was working overnight at a group home and couldn't stay awake during the classes. but, i learned a lot of good things from the short amount of time i was in college and it has helped me in my artwork and also in knowledge of psychology :)
13 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY
i was in all advanced classes until i was in 5th grade. then i was put into classes at my grade level. by seventh grade i was supposed to fail but i was moved from washington to minnesota and they let me go to the eighth grade... and i failed the eighth grade. i was 19 when i graduated... and i BARELY graduated. i am pretty sure they graduated me cause i was annoying them. lol
12 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!!
i have had animals all of my life. i have had cats, dogs, ferrets, rabbits, rats, hamsters, asian dwarves, a salamander, frogs, fish, and lots of stuffed animals. i love animals and my mom does as well, which is why i was raised around animals and have almost always had an animal in my life. they make my life so much better, give me laughs, snuggles, love, make me accountable for something and someone... i love them. even though they like to destroy things..
11 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY
i have eczema. i also have one leg longer than the other, one foot a half a shoe size bigger than the other, my one arm is longer than the other and my hair grows faster on the same side, as well. i have depression, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, generalized high anxiety, and ptsd. i have a bad back and hip due to my leg being longer than the other and my large chest [EE cups].
10 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY
some of my favorite random things are:
unicorns, phoenix, glitter, batman, zombies, hello kitty, rainbows, blacklights, glow-in-the-dark stuff, bracelets, drawing, writing, laughing, coloring, stickers [particularly bumper stickers, skateboard stickers, etc.], neon colors, sock monkeys, squirrels, jelly fish, seahorses, christmas lights, halloween, snuggles, british accents, fuzzy posters, listening to music, playing my guitar or drums, octopus, my teddy bear people that i draw, buddha, moonstone, opal, opalite, being creative, tattoos, piercings and a ton of other random things
9 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY
i used to write poetry and short stories all the time. i am in the process of trying to work on that again. i wrote poetry, journaled and wrote stories since i was about 9 and stopped around the time was 21. i have about two 3 inch 3 ring binders full of my poetry and writing, plus all of the random journals that i have written in [about 7]. writing and art are the biggest things in my life.
8 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!
i dislike having my picture taken, pickles, mustard, sour kraut, mushrooms, olives, peppers, coconut, almonds, wide ruled paper, when my favorite pens die, getting nothing but junk mail [that is why i am a pen pal with a handful of my friends], misplacing things, running out of cigarettes or having cigarettes and no lighter, forgetting what i am saying in the middle of what i am saying, reading out loud, my chest, when my cats dart of the apartment, wet socks, forgetting someone's name hat i KNOW that i have meta few times, being broke, the doctor's office, hospitals, clinics, shopping in stores during the day, working fast food, car trouble, criticism [which is a part of my biggest flaws], running into walls/ doorways... and a TON more...
7 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!!
i have been pen paling since i was about 12 years old. i love writing letters and getting letters in the mail. yes, we have facebook and email and everything but i like the old fashioned pen and paper letters. it's much more personal and i feel you get a different connection. i have always had at least one pen pal since then. sometimes i end up with about 10, which i think is about how many i have right now, but i always manage to keep things in order for the most part.
6 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!
i collect batman things, anything with the green three eyed aliens from the toy story movies, zombie movies, pens and other things that glow under blacklight, stickers [bumper stickers, band stickers, skateboard stickers, etc], squirrel things, sock monkeys, glittery things, bracelets, hats, movies, gel pens/ pens that write really nice, i used to collect journals... not sure why... and a bunch of other random things. but i am trying to cut down on the things that i collect and try to stick with a few things since i have an obscene amount of things...
5 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!!!
i have a weird obsession with handwriting. i wanted to go to school for graphology, which is the pseudoscientific study and analysis of handwriting, especially in relation to human psychology. i like to read and analyze peoples handwriting. i don't know a whole lot about it but i have always been fascinated by how different everyone's handwriting can be. i have been known to change my handwriting over time. sometimes i like to do it just for a change but i like to be able to see how different i can make my writing and see if other people can tell if it was me.
4 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!
my dream job since i was about 12 years old was to be an creative director. i would like to be able to design cd booklets, posters, handouts for bands, stickers, patches... it would involve brainstorming with the people i am creating for, creating a theme, helping to create an artistic style for the band or singer. i would work to focus on what would appeal to audiences but still represent who i am working for. there are lots of ways you could be a creative director... television shows, movies, band things, book covers, music videos, video games, advertising, films, music, fashion and much more. but i have always wanted to do things for bands. things like stickers, tshirts, cd booklets, cd designs, patches, logos for the bands, etc. that is my IDEAL job.
3 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!
i am fascinated by skeletons especially in xrays. i sometimes google xrays and just look at the human body like that. i am always amused with the ones where people et things stuck inside themselves. whether they get something stuck in their throat, in their butt, in their stomach... i find xrays amazingly interesting. i don't know much about the human body because i never took anatomy but i still am amazed.
2 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!
i come from a large family on both sides. my mom has 6 half siblings and my dad has 5 siblings. each of my aunts and uncles [other than one] has a minimum of 2 children each. i am the only only child in the entire family. on my mom's side of the family i am the youngest cousin by about 14 years while on my dad's side i am the oldest by about 7 years. i have no cousins near my age.
i have always wondered what it would be like to have siblings. i have a step sister who is the closest to that but we haven't talked much since we were both in high school and now that i am transitioning she doesn't seem to want anything to do with me, so i have adopted some of my friends as my siblings :)
1 DAY UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!!
i am afraid of success. for so long in my life, knowing i have some talent, i have held myself down from really dedicating myself to the things that i love, the things i could get money for and the things that are actually liked by other people. for some reason i have always had issues with ruining my chances at things, like procrastinating so much that i miss deadlines of things, writing things down but never in the same place so i lose track of all the things that people want me to do for them.
i am hoping that i can push myself through this issue of not allowing myself to succeed.
as promised, here is a random thing about me for day 19. there will be a random thing posted every day until my birthday. some things people may know who are close to me, some no one may know...
i was in ballet from the age of 3-13. i was in ballet, tap, jazz, modern and baton. here is one of the pictures i was able to find for you to laugh at... ENJOY
17 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY...
i was born Megan Lynne Kilgore. i am an only child, an only grandchild for my grandfather because my mom had a different father than the rest of my aunts and uncles.
16 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY...
i have a weird love for redheads. whether they are guys, girls, animals, etc. some of my favorite actors and actresses are redheads. some of my favorite redheads are:
Marg Helgenberger, kate winslet, Julianne Moore, Susan Sarandon, Geri Halliwell,Bernadette Peters, Ann Margaret, Conan O'Brien, Nicole Kidman, Gillian Anderson,Lindsay Lohan [before she went all cracked out and crazy and shit], Isla Lang Fisher, Amy Adams, Emma Stone, Willie Nelson, David Caruso, Seth Green, Michael C. Hall [yeah, a natural redhead believe it or not], Danny Elfman [to most amazing composer... has been involved in pretty much EVERY tim burton movie...], Adam Savage, Alan Tudyk, Damian Lewis, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Louis C.K., Bette Middler, Rupert Grint!!!,Simon Pegg, Tilda Swinton, Reba McEntire, Kathy Griffin, Zack Ward, Carol Burnett, Debbie Reynolds, Frances Fisher, JUDY GARLAND, Amy Yasbeck, Annette Bening, Alyson Hannigan, Gates McFadden [who was my first ever crush] ...
there are a TON more but i am going to leave it there cause there are already three of these. haha. but, like i said...
i ♥ redheads... not sure why... but have my entire life
15 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!
some of my favorite movies are:
ELF, pitch perfect, shaun of the dead, the high school musical movies, the wizard of oz, a star is born [the judy garland version], pretty much anything tim burton, smiley face, the toy story movies, hedwig and the angry inch, fear and loathing in las vegas, breakfast club, donny darko, all the batman movies, house bunny, sucker punch, reefer madness [newer one], the alien series, THOR!, chicago, grumpy and grumpier old men, mean girls, the cell, a bunch more...
14 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY
i have been to college twice. once for my generals and once for graphic design. i failed out the first time adn the second time i was going to take a break because i was working overnight at a group home and couldn't stay awake during the classes. but, i learned a lot of good things from the short amount of time i was in college and it has helped me in my artwork and also in knowledge of psychology :)
13 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY
i was in all advanced classes until i was in 5th grade. then i was put into classes at my grade level. by seventh grade i was supposed to fail but i was moved from washington to minnesota and they let me go to the eighth grade... and i failed the eighth grade. i was 19 when i graduated... and i BARELY graduated. i am pretty sure they graduated me cause i was annoying them. lol
12 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!!
i have had animals all of my life. i have had cats, dogs, ferrets, rabbits, rats, hamsters, asian dwarves, a salamander, frogs, fish, and lots of stuffed animals. i love animals and my mom does as well, which is why i was raised around animals and have almost always had an animal in my life. they make my life so much better, give me laughs, snuggles, love, make me accountable for something and someone... i love them. even though they like to destroy things..
11 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY
i have eczema. i also have one leg longer than the other, one foot a half a shoe size bigger than the other, my one arm is longer than the other and my hair grows faster on the same side, as well. i have depression, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, generalized high anxiety, and ptsd. i have a bad back and hip due to my leg being longer than the other and my large chest [EE cups].
10 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY
some of my favorite random things are:
unicorns, phoenix, glitter, batman, zombies, hello kitty, rainbows, blacklights, glow-in-the-dark stuff, bracelets, drawing, writing, laughing, coloring, stickers [particularly bumper stickers, skateboard stickers, etc.], neon colors, sock monkeys, squirrels, jelly fish, seahorses, christmas lights, halloween, snuggles, british accents, fuzzy posters, listening to music, playing my guitar or drums, octopus, my teddy bear people that i draw, buddha, moonstone, opal, opalite, being creative, tattoos, piercings and a ton of other random things
9 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY
i used to write poetry and short stories all the time. i am in the process of trying to work on that again. i wrote poetry, journaled and wrote stories since i was about 9 and stopped around the time was 21. i have about two 3 inch 3 ring binders full of my poetry and writing, plus all of the random journals that i have written in [about 7]. writing and art are the biggest things in my life.
8 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!
i dislike having my picture taken, pickles, mustard, sour kraut, mushrooms, olives, peppers, coconut, almonds, wide ruled paper, when my favorite pens die, getting nothing but junk mail [that is why i am a pen pal with a handful of my friends], misplacing things, running out of cigarettes or having cigarettes and no lighter, forgetting what i am saying in the middle of what i am saying, reading out loud, my chest, when my cats dart of the apartment, wet socks, forgetting someone's name hat i KNOW that i have meta few times, being broke, the doctor's office, hospitals, clinics, shopping in stores during the day, working fast food, car trouble, criticism [which is a part of my biggest flaws], running into walls/ doorways... and a TON more...
7 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!!
i have been pen paling since i was about 12 years old. i love writing letters and getting letters in the mail. yes, we have facebook and email and everything but i like the old fashioned pen and paper letters. it's much more personal and i feel you get a different connection. i have always had at least one pen pal since then. sometimes i end up with about 10, which i think is about how many i have right now, but i always manage to keep things in order for the most part.
6 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!
i collect batman things, anything with the green three eyed aliens from the toy story movies, zombie movies, pens and other things that glow under blacklight, stickers [bumper stickers, band stickers, skateboard stickers, etc], squirrel things, sock monkeys, glittery things, bracelets, hats, movies, gel pens/ pens that write really nice, i used to collect journals... not sure why... and a bunch of other random things. but i am trying to cut down on the things that i collect and try to stick with a few things since i have an obscene amount of things...
5 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!!!
i have a weird obsession with handwriting. i wanted to go to school for graphology, which is the pseudoscientific study and analysis of handwriting, especially in relation to human psychology. i like to read and analyze peoples handwriting. i don't know a whole lot about it but i have always been fascinated by how different everyone's handwriting can be. i have been known to change my handwriting over time. sometimes i like to do it just for a change but i like to be able to see how different i can make my writing and see if other people can tell if it was me.
4 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!
my dream job since i was about 12 years old was to be an creative director. i would like to be able to design cd booklets, posters, handouts for bands, stickers, patches... it would involve brainstorming with the people i am creating for, creating a theme, helping to create an artistic style for the band or singer. i would work to focus on what would appeal to audiences but still represent who i am working for. there are lots of ways you could be a creative director... television shows, movies, band things, book covers, music videos, video games, advertising, films, music, fashion and much more. but i have always wanted to do things for bands. things like stickers, tshirts, cd booklets, cd designs, patches, logos for the bands, etc. that is my IDEAL job.
3 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!
i am fascinated by skeletons especially in xrays. i sometimes google xrays and just look at the human body like that. i am always amused with the ones where people et things stuck inside themselves. whether they get something stuck in their throat, in their butt, in their stomach... i find xrays amazingly interesting. i don't know much about the human body because i never took anatomy but i still am amazed.
2 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!
i come from a large family on both sides. my mom has 6 half siblings and my dad has 5 siblings. each of my aunts and uncles [other than one] has a minimum of 2 children each. i am the only only child in the entire family. on my mom's side of the family i am the youngest cousin by about 14 years while on my dad's side i am the oldest by about 7 years. i have no cousins near my age.
i have always wondered what it would be like to have siblings. i have a step sister who is the closest to that but we haven't talked much since we were both in high school and now that i am transitioning she doesn't seem to want anything to do with me, so i have adopted some of my friends as my siblings :)
1 DAY UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!!
i am afraid of success. for so long in my life, knowing i have some talent, i have held myself down from really dedicating myself to the things that i love, the things i could get money for and the things that are actually liked by other people. for some reason i have always had issues with ruining my chances at things, like procrastinating so much that i miss deadlines of things, writing things down but never in the same place so i lose track of all the things that people want me to do for them.
i am hoping that i can push myself through this issue of not allowing myself to succeed.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
adult content... talking about fake penises...
just ordered myself a new packer. i used to have a pack and pee...
pissin' passin' packer
which was a great product, however, i just couldn't get it to work for me so i decided i am going to just sit and pee and get a packer.
this is the one, i just ordered from edenfantasys.com
now, due to the lack of money and the inability to find the type and size of a harness that i like, i am going to make my own. i found an awesome simmple step by step guide that is to make the type similar to boxer briefs.
right here
so, pretty excited to get it in the mail. i will make sure to post something, maybe a video about it or something on my reviews.
-aiden
which was a great product, however, i just couldn't get it to work for me so i decided i am going to just sit and pee and get a packer.
this is the one, i just ordered from edenfantasys.com
now, due to the lack of money and the inability to find the type and size of a harness that i like, i am going to make my own. i found an awesome simmple step by step guide that is to make the type similar to boxer briefs.
right here
so, pretty excited to get it in the mail. i will make sure to post something, maybe a video about it or something on my reviews.
-aiden
Sunday, March 3, 2013
so, back to this blogging thing... again
so, normally, i don't do the blogging thing much anymore but i realize that is something that i used to love to do and kept up on. so, i am going to go ahead and try to do this all again.
engaged. never thought i would be engaged for serious. there were those times back in the day when i talked to people about getting married and we threw it around but it was never serious. now, i am engaged to an amazing woman, kat. we have a car. we live in a decent apartment even though we plan on getting somewhere better hopefully within the next year. we have 2 cats that are hilarious and cute, a dog who drives us nuts but makes us laugh a lot, and two fiesty little ferrets and a insanely unique little kid, [kat's son, aedan]. our life together has been pretty great so far and i look forward to the rest of my life with her.
i have been on testosterone for over a year and a month now. a lot has been changing. my voice dropped, more hair growing everywhere, acne, sexual levels are shifting, always hungry... my depression as gotten a little better but my anxiety has gone up a little bit. i am beginning to feel more and more comfortable in my skin and mentally things are starting to line up.
i am not sure what all to write about right now. i will work on a survey or something right now to kind of do a 'when i first started this blog this is where i was in my life' kind of thing.
tadda.
-magic pants out-
engaged. never thought i would be engaged for serious. there were those times back in the day when i talked to people about getting married and we threw it around but it was never serious. now, i am engaged to an amazing woman, kat. we have a car. we live in a decent apartment even though we plan on getting somewhere better hopefully within the next year. we have 2 cats that are hilarious and cute, a dog who drives us nuts but makes us laugh a lot, and two fiesty little ferrets and a insanely unique little kid, [kat's son, aedan]. our life together has been pretty great so far and i look forward to the rest of my life with her.
 |
| Kat and I with our new car. 2005 Hyandai Sonota. |
i have been on testosterone for over a year and a month now. a lot has been changing. my voice dropped, more hair growing everywhere, acne, sexual levels are shifting, always hungry... my depression as gotten a little better but my anxiety has gone up a little bit. i am beginning to feel more and more comfortable in my skin and mentally things are starting to line up.
 |
| pre-t. 1 year on t. |
tadda.
-magic pants out-
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