Alright, so there are some pretty interesting things happening for me since I have written last.
I recently purchased a gc2b binder and have never been happier with a binder. I got the right size from my guess and the first time I tried it on I was so happy. It is FAR more comfortable than the other ones that I have used over the years. And it actually wasn't expensive, which is even cooler to me.
Then I got packing briefs finally and too many failed attempts at making my own. I love it. I feel much more comfortable when I go places. I am loving being able to use my packer. I have had it for over a year and had never used it in reality.
And in other news, we did some grocery shopping and I grabbed a ton of fruit and some healthier things for me to eat. I am trying to make plans to make things work better in my health. I am trying to eat a little less and better. I had to stop my cholesterol med cause it was having issues with my liver. So, i am doing things to deal with that.
I forced myself to fill out some paperwork, wrote a letter, did some reading, did some laundry with Kat, cleaned a good quarter of the room... I am trying to figure out things to keep me going. I will write more in awhile. I am going to try to help get Aedan ready for bed.
-oo-
Showing posts with label testosterone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label testosterone. Show all posts
Monday, March 2, 2015
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
to donate anything towards my top surgery
https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/79h5/aiden-willows-top-surgery-funding
Saturday, January 18, 2014
2 years??
believe it or not, i have officially been on testosterone for two whole years! i have missed shots here and there so it is not 100% of the time in that two years but generally not longer than a few weeks. i just can't believe that it has been a whole 2 years.
things right now are interesting but nothing overly exciting. i am cutting down on certain things. right now i am no longer eating noodles in anything and i am trying to avoid rice, as well. next will be cutting back on my sugars. we also are buying a lot more vegetables. this time we got a lot, our vegetable drawer was full and we still had a bunch more. i feel very accoplished from our grolcery store strip. :)
we are moving to a new apartment, actually, in a few weeks. on the first of february we are moving from our place now out to about 4 blocks from where we are now. the place is twice the size, utilities included, bathroom is about three times the size of what we have here. the kitchen is a little bigger, a lot more storage space and the fridge is much bigger. our bedroom that we will be having has a walk in closet, which i will be taking pictures of, for sure. i am so beyond excited. we are moving up, for sure.
not sure what else to write about right now but realized i need to start keeping up on this stuff again. :)
until next time
Aiden
things right now are interesting but nothing overly exciting. i am cutting down on certain things. right now i am no longer eating noodles in anything and i am trying to avoid rice, as well. next will be cutting back on my sugars. we also are buying a lot more vegetables. this time we got a lot, our vegetable drawer was full and we still had a bunch more. i feel very accoplished from our grolcery store strip. :)
we are moving to a new apartment, actually, in a few weeks. on the first of february we are moving from our place now out to about 4 blocks from where we are now. the place is twice the size, utilities included, bathroom is about three times the size of what we have here. the kitchen is a little bigger, a lot more storage space and the fridge is much bigger. our bedroom that we will be having has a walk in closet, which i will be taking pictures of, for sure. i am so beyond excited. we are moving up, for sure.
not sure what else to write about right now but realized i need to start keeping up on this stuff again. :)
until next time
Aiden
Monday, May 20, 2013
looking into the past
so,
today i basically spent the entire day searching online for things i
can use in my story that i am going to start writing soon. did a lot
of marking of pages about insane asylums and so forth around the
30's- 60's. i haven't decided exactly what time period to have it
placed in. but we will see as i do more research about everything. I
am hoping to pay off my library fines so that I can check out some
books and dvds if I can find any of those or anything. I am going to
try to look into every single way that I can do the research and try
to make it as accurate as possible. The psych ward part is the major
thing that I need to make accurate and depending on the time period I
will go from there into where I decide to write the story, the final
decisions and everything else. One step at a time then they lead to
the details. I am going to try to write this the best way I know how
and take it slow but try to stay focused as much as possible.
I have basically be
watching tons of horror movies and dramas about psych wards, not
matter what time period they are in and just trying to get into the
right state of mind. I am going to be doing nothing but trying to
surround myself with things like this and trying to do mental
disorders so I can define and explain why she is in there other than
killing people. I know the basics of what she is going to do but I
need to figure out what things she is feeling, seeing and so forth to
bring her to the point of killing people other than the plot that she
has already been given that I will not talk about yet.
There are a lot of ideas
racing through my head about where I want the story to go, what I
want the basics to be... but I am not totally sure what I want to do
yet. I will take it one step at a time.
Still getting more
stickers and random things every day. I am loving it. :) I am so glad
I signed up and asked for all the stickers from people. I think I am
going to do another list of emails but I need to try to make sure I
don't email the same people I have already emailed. That is gonna be
the toughest part cause I am going to have to go back through the old
emails, I think.
Let's see... anything else
to write about? I have officially switched to weekly shots. We will
see how the changes come from here. I am going to be keeping
everything documented in my shot journal like I have been but I need
to make sure I write more in it each time. I didn't take very good
records of the first year and I kind of wish that I would have. I
know I could have but oh well, gotta start now, I guess.
Well, I am good for now
since blogger is being weird.
Love, Peace and Chicken
Grease, y'all
-Aiden
Thursday, May 9, 2013
life changes round 907
got some more cool things in the mail today.
had a generally pretty good day. went to my endocriniligist appointment down in duluth and was able to get my testosterone injection dose upped and now we are doing them weekly instead of every other week, which i think will be a lot better. now i just have to get on some trails to try to figure out this whole getting top surgery thing. see if there are any options for getting covered by insurance, if not... try to find ways to start raising money, including selling things, selling artwork/ tattoo designs, etc. i have to find ways to do it. i want to be able to go down to dr. garramone in florida so it might be a bit pricy. but if i am going to have to pay for it out of pocket i am going to go to the best. he is the top surgeon in the field right now, so i am really hoping that maybe we are able to do that. i have talked to kat about possibly taking out a loan or something but we will see. one step at a time. first we need to see if maybe my insurance will cover something.
let's see. i am thinking i am going to make a video tonight after i drop kat off at work. she is going to work at midnight so possibly after that. i really need to make a new video. bad. so, we will see. i will figure out how i feel when i get back. i am debating a few things but i should really work on that. i wish i knew what ever happened to my camera stand cause it would bt cool to paint under blacklight and record it all happening and then fast forward it in video... hrm... maybe i could figure out a way to do it... i will try to think about this... that could be fun!
i will have to leave this up or something to make sure that i remember that i wanted to do that. not sure if i will do it but it could be fun! :D i am in the middle of doing the background for something so i could either work with that one or start over with something. hrm... not sure yet. we will see what i feel like later.
the one i am working on right now, i wish i had black paint pens like i used to because that would come in SO handy at ts point. bah. i miss the days when i had those all the time in high school and was getting them for free from mr. domeqc. i always used them and i loved them SOOO much. they made outlining things much easier than trying to do it the other way.
i might do some writing soon. i am thinking about setting myself a schedule of doing certain activites for certain times of the day. making myself wake up by a certain time and going through a schedule like when i was in treatment. maybe find some online groups during certain hours. possibly. we will see. but i want to set aside at least an hour for art, an hour for writing, once a week a video, working out at least every few days until i can work out every day without killing myself. set certain alarms on my phone. literally FORCE myself to get into the habits that i need to be in. work out a diet and stick to it by shopping and only getting things that will fit into it but allowing a little bit of wiggle room for when i have dinner with the family. lunches should be healthy, same with breakfast. and cutting back slowly on the amounts of what i am eating and try to eat slower.
i am trying not to do too many things at once but i feel and think that i do it this way, it will help. and i will force myself to be accountable. because i will allow myself to do something good if i do the things i don't like to do. like, i can only go online if the dishes are done. or i can only play on the xbox if the living room is at least decently clean and organized. try to figure out things like that. i think it would be really good to do things like that. my therapist would agree for sure.
i just want things to get better. if it is not HUGE that is fine, i have to be happy for the little things. baby steps are how one gets to big steps. you have to start somewhere, you have to start small or you will fall. well, that is the case for most people but anywho...
things right now are going pretty well though. nothing major happening but TRYing to stay positive... keep my head up even when things don't go as well as i want, if i eat too much, if i mess up and forget to do something... i need to try not to get overwhelmed SO fast. i know it is a part of my borderline personality disorder BUT i want to at least say that i am trying to get better, trying to make things better. i feel as though i have backslid a bit and i don't like that. i dunno if i will ever get to where i was before in my life but i really want to try. and to get healthier. that is my main goal. to feel better, not be a loner in the apartment all the time, try to live a somewhat more organized life and try to socialize more outside of the apartment. even if it means just going to sit at a friends house insteat of having everyone come here all the time. that is what happens here other than with our friends AJ but he lives across the street. haha
so i am getting more stubble when i shave on my mustache area. here comes the creepy mustache. haha. i dont think that i will EVER have a mustache cause they weird me out but who knows, maybe at some point i will have one for a bit. along with a mullet. lmfao. sorry, i doubt i will ever have a mustache.
i really need to get my hair trimmed up. i am growing out the top but i really need the long stuff in the back gone and the sides. bah.
man, i can't stop yawning and stretcing for some reason. i may have to sleep a little while kat is at work. weird... we will see. haha. just take it as it comes, i suppose.
well, gonna go for now because i am going to be bringing her to work shortly.
love, peace and chicken grease.
-Aiden
had a generally pretty good day. went to my endocriniligist appointment down in duluth and was able to get my testosterone injection dose upped and now we are doing them weekly instead of every other week, which i think will be a lot better. now i just have to get on some trails to try to figure out this whole getting top surgery thing. see if there are any options for getting covered by insurance, if not... try to find ways to start raising money, including selling things, selling artwork/ tattoo designs, etc. i have to find ways to do it. i want to be able to go down to dr. garramone in florida so it might be a bit pricy. but if i am going to have to pay for it out of pocket i am going to go to the best. he is the top surgeon in the field right now, so i am really hoping that maybe we are able to do that. i have talked to kat about possibly taking out a loan or something but we will see. one step at a time. first we need to see if maybe my insurance will cover something.
let's see. i am thinking i am going to make a video tonight after i drop kat off at work. she is going to work at midnight so possibly after that. i really need to make a new video. bad. so, we will see. i will figure out how i feel when i get back. i am debating a few things but i should really work on that. i wish i knew what ever happened to my camera stand cause it would bt cool to paint under blacklight and record it all happening and then fast forward it in video... hrm... maybe i could figure out a way to do it... i will try to think about this... that could be fun!
i will have to leave this up or something to make sure that i remember that i wanted to do that. not sure if i will do it but it could be fun! :D i am in the middle of doing the background for something so i could either work with that one or start over with something. hrm... not sure yet. we will see what i feel like later.
the one i am working on right now, i wish i had black paint pens like i used to because that would come in SO handy at ts point. bah. i miss the days when i had those all the time in high school and was getting them for free from mr. domeqc. i always used them and i loved them SOOO much. they made outlining things much easier than trying to do it the other way.
i might do some writing soon. i am thinking about setting myself a schedule of doing certain activites for certain times of the day. making myself wake up by a certain time and going through a schedule like when i was in treatment. maybe find some online groups during certain hours. possibly. we will see. but i want to set aside at least an hour for art, an hour for writing, once a week a video, working out at least every few days until i can work out every day without killing myself. set certain alarms on my phone. literally FORCE myself to get into the habits that i need to be in. work out a diet and stick to it by shopping and only getting things that will fit into it but allowing a little bit of wiggle room for when i have dinner with the family. lunches should be healthy, same with breakfast. and cutting back slowly on the amounts of what i am eating and try to eat slower.
i am trying not to do too many things at once but i feel and think that i do it this way, it will help. and i will force myself to be accountable. because i will allow myself to do something good if i do the things i don't like to do. like, i can only go online if the dishes are done. or i can only play on the xbox if the living room is at least decently clean and organized. try to figure out things like that. i think it would be really good to do things like that. my therapist would agree for sure.
i just want things to get better. if it is not HUGE that is fine, i have to be happy for the little things. baby steps are how one gets to big steps. you have to start somewhere, you have to start small or you will fall. well, that is the case for most people but anywho...
things right now are going pretty well though. nothing major happening but TRYing to stay positive... keep my head up even when things don't go as well as i want, if i eat too much, if i mess up and forget to do something... i need to try not to get overwhelmed SO fast. i know it is a part of my borderline personality disorder BUT i want to at least say that i am trying to get better, trying to make things better. i feel as though i have backslid a bit and i don't like that. i dunno if i will ever get to where i was before in my life but i really want to try. and to get healthier. that is my main goal. to feel better, not be a loner in the apartment all the time, try to live a somewhat more organized life and try to socialize more outside of the apartment. even if it means just going to sit at a friends house insteat of having everyone come here all the time. that is what happens here other than with our friends AJ but he lives across the street. haha
so i am getting more stubble when i shave on my mustache area. here comes the creepy mustache. haha. i dont think that i will EVER have a mustache cause they weird me out but who knows, maybe at some point i will have one for a bit. along with a mullet. lmfao. sorry, i doubt i will ever have a mustache.
i really need to get my hair trimmed up. i am growing out the top but i really need the long stuff in the back gone and the sides. bah.
man, i can't stop yawning and stretcing for some reason. i may have to sleep a little while kat is at work. weird... we will see. haha. just take it as it comes, i suppose.
well, gonna go for now because i am going to be bringing her to work shortly.
love, peace and chicken grease.
-Aiden
Sunday, March 3, 2013
so, back to this blogging thing... again
so, normally, i don't do the blogging thing much anymore but i realize that is something that i used to love to do and kept up on. so, i am going to go ahead and try to do this all again.
engaged. never thought i would be engaged for serious. there were those times back in the day when i talked to people about getting married and we threw it around but it was never serious. now, i am engaged to an amazing woman, kat. we have a car. we live in a decent apartment even though we plan on getting somewhere better hopefully within the next year. we have 2 cats that are hilarious and cute, a dog who drives us nuts but makes us laugh a lot, and two fiesty little ferrets and a insanely unique little kid, [kat's son, aedan]. our life together has been pretty great so far and i look forward to the rest of my life with her.
i have been on testosterone for over a year and a month now. a lot has been changing. my voice dropped, more hair growing everywhere, acne, sexual levels are shifting, always hungry... my depression as gotten a little better but my anxiety has gone up a little bit. i am beginning to feel more and more comfortable in my skin and mentally things are starting to line up.
i am not sure what all to write about right now. i will work on a survey or something right now to kind of do a 'when i first started this blog this is where i was in my life' kind of thing.
tadda.
-magic pants out-
engaged. never thought i would be engaged for serious. there were those times back in the day when i talked to people about getting married and we threw it around but it was never serious. now, i am engaged to an amazing woman, kat. we have a car. we live in a decent apartment even though we plan on getting somewhere better hopefully within the next year. we have 2 cats that are hilarious and cute, a dog who drives us nuts but makes us laugh a lot, and two fiesty little ferrets and a insanely unique little kid, [kat's son, aedan]. our life together has been pretty great so far and i look forward to the rest of my life with her.
 |
| Kat and I with our new car. 2005 Hyandai Sonota. |
i have been on testosterone for over a year and a month now. a lot has been changing. my voice dropped, more hair growing everywhere, acne, sexual levels are shifting, always hungry... my depression as gotten a little better but my anxiety has gone up a little bit. i am beginning to feel more and more comfortable in my skin and mentally things are starting to line up.
 |
| pre-t. 1 year on t. |
tadda.
-magic pants out-
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