Alright, so there are some pretty interesting things happening for me since I have written last.
I recently purchased a gc2b binder and have never been happier with a binder. I got the right size from my guess and the first time I tried it on I was so happy. It is FAR more comfortable than the other ones that I have used over the years. And it actually wasn't expensive, which is even cooler to me.
Then I got packing briefs finally and too many failed attempts at making my own. I love it. I feel much more comfortable when I go places. I am loving being able to use my packer. I have had it for over a year and had never used it in reality.
And in other news, we did some grocery shopping and I grabbed a ton of fruit and some healthier things for me to eat. I am trying to make plans to make things work better in my health. I am trying to eat a little less and better. I had to stop my cholesterol med cause it was having issues with my liver. So, i am doing things to deal with that.
I forced myself to fill out some paperwork, wrote a letter, did some reading, did some laundry with Kat, cleaned a good quarter of the room... I am trying to figure out things to keep me going. I will write more in awhile. I am going to try to help get Aedan ready for bed.
-oo-
Showing posts with label healthy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label healthy. Show all posts
Monday, March 2, 2015
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
cha.. cha... chaaanges....
so, for the last 5 days Kat has been working on a schedule that has made my sleep schedule be decently normal. i hated it at first and was debating staying up all night but since we have aedan i needed to sleep at night like a regular person and get up to get her at 8 then stay up with the kid. i figured this would be hell but it turns out with my new vitamin d and my new multi vitamin that is supposed to help with energy, it is working out pretty well. i take them right away when i get up and usually bring her to work or go pick her up, depending on what shift she was working. i come back, have breakfast with the kid, i have been doing artwork and some random things i need to do. yesterday i even cleaned off my disaster of a desk and it is now a functional art/ computer desk. i already have worked on a project of painting my one cell phone cover. that is actually still a work in progress. but yesterday was a very successful and productive day.
i set plans for calls to make later today once kat wakes up. going to look into top surgery that might be covered by my insurance. we will see but i am crossing my fingers beyond belief right now.
as usual, i got some samples in the mail. these were for some natural energy drinks. they are powdered and you add them to 8 oz. of water, i ended up getting the grape flavor and i have to admit i really like them. i ended up trying one yesterday cause i was starting to feel really tired around 4. it helped kick me into gear and it made things a ton better. it wasn't like a jittery high feeling just a bit more pumped up. a bit of a kick in the butt, if you will. i am thinking about possibly investing in some of those. they aren't the cheapest thing in the world but they are pretty awesome. they would be really handy to have for those days when i am dragging really bad when aedan is here or when i can't make it through the day without feeling like i need a nap every five minutes. i am trying to stay on regular people time. key word is TRYING. but you have to start somewhere.
last time i went into my endo they told me that my estrogen is high so i am working on trying to figure out ways to lower my testosterone. so, i talked to a few people and one person mentioned that they were on the depo shot until he had his hysto. so i am going to talk to my endo and see if that is an option.
still working on making changes here and there. taking half my meds in the morning and half at night. the multi-vitamin, vitamin d, half my mood stabilizers, anti-depressants, anxiety and so forth in the morning and the other half with dinner. so far, that seems to be actually helping and balancing things out a bit better. i am liking it. i used to hate doing that but i think that it is helpful. i have been abe to get along with the kid a bit better but at the same time he is acting a bit better. it all varies but he seems to be listening to be different now that i feel a little better and am kind of being nicer to him, which is nice for the both of us.
so, this upcoming weekend is going to be Duluth-Superior GLBTA Pride. my fiance, myself and two friends are all going down, got a hotel room for the weekend and are going to have fun. :) i am excited very much. this year should be really good. i am really hoping anyway. should be pretty fun. :crosses fingers: and this year i am going to try to remember to take lots of pictures. i will be taking my laptop and trying to take videos and pictures and everything. :)
also, on the 11th Kat and I are going to be seeing Michael Buble in the cities. i posted on facebook just saying that i would LOVE to go to his concert for a romantic evening with kat and my mom frickin BOUGHT us tickets and even paid for the parking. now we are going to be staying at our friends house for the night down there. i am beyond excited. the next two weeks are going to be amazing. :)
other than those things i have been trying to get back in connection with more of the spiritual things again. i am working on it but it is difficult at times because my brain can't seem to focus on anything even though i am not doing anything. i am working on trying to get my shit back into regular roles, the things i do into their places, the thoughts into their positions so that i can take action and get going on the things in my life.
we have decided that we will probably end up living in this apartment for the winter and looking for something else after that. give us a chance to figure out if and what we want to do about a house or if we want to go to an apartment. if we are going to have our friend live with us or not. i wish we could move into the 7 bedroom house but i am just not sure do to the electric and heating bills. that is the only thing i am really worried about with such a big house. but i want to move somewhere where we will be staying. we need to get into a HOME and be home. i am done moving. i don't want to move again after this move. i really am sick of moving. i want to settle for at least ten years. we will be here until aedan graduated high school for sure so that gives us about 14 if he doesn't fail any grades or anything like that. but we will see. i just want a HOME.
well, i suppose that is all for right now. can't think of anything else at this point but may write more later depending on what strikes. :)
-Aiden
i set plans for calls to make later today once kat wakes up. going to look into top surgery that might be covered by my insurance. we will see but i am crossing my fingers beyond belief right now.
as usual, i got some samples in the mail. these were for some natural energy drinks. they are powdered and you add them to 8 oz. of water, i ended up getting the grape flavor and i have to admit i really like them. i ended up trying one yesterday cause i was starting to feel really tired around 4. it helped kick me into gear and it made things a ton better. it wasn't like a jittery high feeling just a bit more pumped up. a bit of a kick in the butt, if you will. i am thinking about possibly investing in some of those. they aren't the cheapest thing in the world but they are pretty awesome. they would be really handy to have for those days when i am dragging really bad when aedan is here or when i can't make it through the day without feeling like i need a nap every five minutes. i am trying to stay on regular people time. key word is TRYING. but you have to start somewhere.
last time i went into my endo they told me that my estrogen is high so i am working on trying to figure out ways to lower my testosterone. so, i talked to a few people and one person mentioned that they were on the depo shot until he had his hysto. so i am going to talk to my endo and see if that is an option.
still working on making changes here and there. taking half my meds in the morning and half at night. the multi-vitamin, vitamin d, half my mood stabilizers, anti-depressants, anxiety and so forth in the morning and the other half with dinner. so far, that seems to be actually helping and balancing things out a bit better. i am liking it. i used to hate doing that but i think that it is helpful. i have been abe to get along with the kid a bit better but at the same time he is acting a bit better. it all varies but he seems to be listening to be different now that i feel a little better and am kind of being nicer to him, which is nice for the both of us.
so, this upcoming weekend is going to be Duluth-Superior GLBTA Pride. my fiance, myself and two friends are all going down, got a hotel room for the weekend and are going to have fun. :) i am excited very much. this year should be really good. i am really hoping anyway. should be pretty fun. :crosses fingers: and this year i am going to try to remember to take lots of pictures. i will be taking my laptop and trying to take videos and pictures and everything. :)
also, on the 11th Kat and I are going to be seeing Michael Buble in the cities. i posted on facebook just saying that i would LOVE to go to his concert for a romantic evening with kat and my mom frickin BOUGHT us tickets and even paid for the parking. now we are going to be staying at our friends house for the night down there. i am beyond excited. the next two weeks are going to be amazing. :)
other than those things i have been trying to get back in connection with more of the spiritual things again. i am working on it but it is difficult at times because my brain can't seem to focus on anything even though i am not doing anything. i am working on trying to get my shit back into regular roles, the things i do into their places, the thoughts into their positions so that i can take action and get going on the things in my life.
we have decided that we will probably end up living in this apartment for the winter and looking for something else after that. give us a chance to figure out if and what we want to do about a house or if we want to go to an apartment. if we are going to have our friend live with us or not. i wish we could move into the 7 bedroom house but i am just not sure do to the electric and heating bills. that is the only thing i am really worried about with such a big house. but i want to move somewhere where we will be staying. we need to get into a HOME and be home. i am done moving. i don't want to move again after this move. i really am sick of moving. i want to settle for at least ten years. we will be here until aedan graduated high school for sure so that gives us about 14 if he doesn't fail any grades or anything like that. but we will see. i just want a HOME.
well, i suppose that is all for right now. can't think of anything else at this point but may write more later depending on what strikes. :)
-Aiden
Thursday, May 9, 2013
life changes round 907
got some more cool things in the mail today.
had a generally pretty good day. went to my endocriniligist appointment down in duluth and was able to get my testosterone injection dose upped and now we are doing them weekly instead of every other week, which i think will be a lot better. now i just have to get on some trails to try to figure out this whole getting top surgery thing. see if there are any options for getting covered by insurance, if not... try to find ways to start raising money, including selling things, selling artwork/ tattoo designs, etc. i have to find ways to do it. i want to be able to go down to dr. garramone in florida so it might be a bit pricy. but if i am going to have to pay for it out of pocket i am going to go to the best. he is the top surgeon in the field right now, so i am really hoping that maybe we are able to do that. i have talked to kat about possibly taking out a loan or something but we will see. one step at a time. first we need to see if maybe my insurance will cover something.
let's see. i am thinking i am going to make a video tonight after i drop kat off at work. she is going to work at midnight so possibly after that. i really need to make a new video. bad. so, we will see. i will figure out how i feel when i get back. i am debating a few things but i should really work on that. i wish i knew what ever happened to my camera stand cause it would bt cool to paint under blacklight and record it all happening and then fast forward it in video... hrm... maybe i could figure out a way to do it... i will try to think about this... that could be fun!
i will have to leave this up or something to make sure that i remember that i wanted to do that. not sure if i will do it but it could be fun! :D i am in the middle of doing the background for something so i could either work with that one or start over with something. hrm... not sure yet. we will see what i feel like later.
the one i am working on right now, i wish i had black paint pens like i used to because that would come in SO handy at ts point. bah. i miss the days when i had those all the time in high school and was getting them for free from mr. domeqc. i always used them and i loved them SOOO much. they made outlining things much easier than trying to do it the other way.
i might do some writing soon. i am thinking about setting myself a schedule of doing certain activites for certain times of the day. making myself wake up by a certain time and going through a schedule like when i was in treatment. maybe find some online groups during certain hours. possibly. we will see. but i want to set aside at least an hour for art, an hour for writing, once a week a video, working out at least every few days until i can work out every day without killing myself. set certain alarms on my phone. literally FORCE myself to get into the habits that i need to be in. work out a diet and stick to it by shopping and only getting things that will fit into it but allowing a little bit of wiggle room for when i have dinner with the family. lunches should be healthy, same with breakfast. and cutting back slowly on the amounts of what i am eating and try to eat slower.
i am trying not to do too many things at once but i feel and think that i do it this way, it will help. and i will force myself to be accountable. because i will allow myself to do something good if i do the things i don't like to do. like, i can only go online if the dishes are done. or i can only play on the xbox if the living room is at least decently clean and organized. try to figure out things like that. i think it would be really good to do things like that. my therapist would agree for sure.
i just want things to get better. if it is not HUGE that is fine, i have to be happy for the little things. baby steps are how one gets to big steps. you have to start somewhere, you have to start small or you will fall. well, that is the case for most people but anywho...
things right now are going pretty well though. nothing major happening but TRYing to stay positive... keep my head up even when things don't go as well as i want, if i eat too much, if i mess up and forget to do something... i need to try not to get overwhelmed SO fast. i know it is a part of my borderline personality disorder BUT i want to at least say that i am trying to get better, trying to make things better. i feel as though i have backslid a bit and i don't like that. i dunno if i will ever get to where i was before in my life but i really want to try. and to get healthier. that is my main goal. to feel better, not be a loner in the apartment all the time, try to live a somewhat more organized life and try to socialize more outside of the apartment. even if it means just going to sit at a friends house insteat of having everyone come here all the time. that is what happens here other than with our friends AJ but he lives across the street. haha
so i am getting more stubble when i shave on my mustache area. here comes the creepy mustache. haha. i dont think that i will EVER have a mustache cause they weird me out but who knows, maybe at some point i will have one for a bit. along with a mullet. lmfao. sorry, i doubt i will ever have a mustache.
i really need to get my hair trimmed up. i am growing out the top but i really need the long stuff in the back gone and the sides. bah.
man, i can't stop yawning and stretcing for some reason. i may have to sleep a little while kat is at work. weird... we will see. haha. just take it as it comes, i suppose.
well, gonna go for now because i am going to be bringing her to work shortly.
love, peace and chicken grease.
-Aiden
had a generally pretty good day. went to my endocriniligist appointment down in duluth and was able to get my testosterone injection dose upped and now we are doing them weekly instead of every other week, which i think will be a lot better. now i just have to get on some trails to try to figure out this whole getting top surgery thing. see if there are any options for getting covered by insurance, if not... try to find ways to start raising money, including selling things, selling artwork/ tattoo designs, etc. i have to find ways to do it. i want to be able to go down to dr. garramone in florida so it might be a bit pricy. but if i am going to have to pay for it out of pocket i am going to go to the best. he is the top surgeon in the field right now, so i am really hoping that maybe we are able to do that. i have talked to kat about possibly taking out a loan or something but we will see. one step at a time. first we need to see if maybe my insurance will cover something.
let's see. i am thinking i am going to make a video tonight after i drop kat off at work. she is going to work at midnight so possibly after that. i really need to make a new video. bad. so, we will see. i will figure out how i feel when i get back. i am debating a few things but i should really work on that. i wish i knew what ever happened to my camera stand cause it would bt cool to paint under blacklight and record it all happening and then fast forward it in video... hrm... maybe i could figure out a way to do it... i will try to think about this... that could be fun!
i will have to leave this up or something to make sure that i remember that i wanted to do that. not sure if i will do it but it could be fun! :D i am in the middle of doing the background for something so i could either work with that one or start over with something. hrm... not sure yet. we will see what i feel like later.
the one i am working on right now, i wish i had black paint pens like i used to because that would come in SO handy at ts point. bah. i miss the days when i had those all the time in high school and was getting them for free from mr. domeqc. i always used them and i loved them SOOO much. they made outlining things much easier than trying to do it the other way.
i might do some writing soon. i am thinking about setting myself a schedule of doing certain activites for certain times of the day. making myself wake up by a certain time and going through a schedule like when i was in treatment. maybe find some online groups during certain hours. possibly. we will see. but i want to set aside at least an hour for art, an hour for writing, once a week a video, working out at least every few days until i can work out every day without killing myself. set certain alarms on my phone. literally FORCE myself to get into the habits that i need to be in. work out a diet and stick to it by shopping and only getting things that will fit into it but allowing a little bit of wiggle room for when i have dinner with the family. lunches should be healthy, same with breakfast. and cutting back slowly on the amounts of what i am eating and try to eat slower.
i am trying not to do too many things at once but i feel and think that i do it this way, it will help. and i will force myself to be accountable. because i will allow myself to do something good if i do the things i don't like to do. like, i can only go online if the dishes are done. or i can only play on the xbox if the living room is at least decently clean and organized. try to figure out things like that. i think it would be really good to do things like that. my therapist would agree for sure.
i just want things to get better. if it is not HUGE that is fine, i have to be happy for the little things. baby steps are how one gets to big steps. you have to start somewhere, you have to start small or you will fall. well, that is the case for most people but anywho...
things right now are going pretty well though. nothing major happening but TRYing to stay positive... keep my head up even when things don't go as well as i want, if i eat too much, if i mess up and forget to do something... i need to try not to get overwhelmed SO fast. i know it is a part of my borderline personality disorder BUT i want to at least say that i am trying to get better, trying to make things better. i feel as though i have backslid a bit and i don't like that. i dunno if i will ever get to where i was before in my life but i really want to try. and to get healthier. that is my main goal. to feel better, not be a loner in the apartment all the time, try to live a somewhat more organized life and try to socialize more outside of the apartment. even if it means just going to sit at a friends house insteat of having everyone come here all the time. that is what happens here other than with our friends AJ but he lives across the street. haha
so i am getting more stubble when i shave on my mustache area. here comes the creepy mustache. haha. i dont think that i will EVER have a mustache cause they weird me out but who knows, maybe at some point i will have one for a bit. along with a mullet. lmfao. sorry, i doubt i will ever have a mustache.
i really need to get my hair trimmed up. i am growing out the top but i really need the long stuff in the back gone and the sides. bah.
man, i can't stop yawning and stretcing for some reason. i may have to sleep a little while kat is at work. weird... we will see. haha. just take it as it comes, i suppose.
well, gonna go for now because i am going to be bringing her to work shortly.
love, peace and chicken grease.
-Aiden
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