catching up on letters, finally

so, i have basically spent the last two days writing letters. i decided to write them all on the computer and print them out since i got some awesome fonts. why not use them and share them with my friends. better than boring old fonts. i like the fun ones. especially ones that look like handwriting.

so, anyway... things are going ok for the most part. i am not thinking about my grandparents every single day now. but i do miss my grandmother. knowing that i will never be able to talk to her again if i wanted to... never hear her stories again about her parents, her sisters and her brother. her experiences in the war... just the amazing stories she always told me. i wish that i would have recorded some of the things we talked about. i wish i would have used the tape deck when i had the chance. it would be amazing to write a story about her. she was an amazing woman who did a lot of things in her 90 years on earth. went through a lot of things but was always strong. i am so proud to say that she was my grandmother.

let's see... what else to write about. i shifted my facebook back to my old one and am getting rid of lots of people i never talk to, groups i don't want to be in and all of that fun shit. i am going to delete the other one in a week after people have had the chance to switch to the current one. i have been wanting to do it for awhile. i will be adding pictures and everything slowly back onto this one but i want to try to start new. it will be good for the changes that i am making. it will help me feel like a new start. at least i hope so.

i am not sure what else to write about but figured it would be good to do a quick update just cause. i am trying to write more and get things flowing on a more regular basis as far as writing and art. might try to do one drawing a week. i tried the drawing a day thing and that never works... so gonna try to do one a week. see if i can do that. :)

peace out.

time with friends

so, i have begun to realize lately that i am becoming anti-social and a shut in... again. i am trying very hard to not be that way but for some reason i always find myself back in this same situation. i even stopped being online. just sat around not really doing much of anything. how did i become THAT guy? i don't like the way my life is headed so i am going to start trying to make the changes, even if slowly, i need to become the man i know i can be.

i am going to step up for this possible job. i am going to call tomorrow and talk to them about the application i put in and seeing if they were willing to give me an interview or something. i honestly can say that i actually WANT this job. first time since when i worked at michael's... i actually WANT a job.

i am going to work harder at making sure i draw at least a few times a week, maybe even once a day. making sure i post things to my profiles, my art sites, etc. i need to get my creative juices flowing again like they used to be before. when i was angry, i drew... when i was sad, i drew... i need to start getting like that again.

i am going to step up in try to SELL and start producing buyable art. possibly try to get a few clients for tattoo designs and so forth. start charging for things. even if it is on my paypal or something like that. i have ideas.

i am going to try to take better care of myself. this is not just eating. try to do my hair, even if i am not going out. take better care of my skin, use some body and face wash again. just take better all around care of me.

i want to make this all happen. i will clearly have to take some baby steps but this is something that i really want to do and i think that i can do it if i put my heart and soul and effort into it. it will be hard to keep myself motivated in the beginning but if it keeps going and begins a real art career... i will be much more motivated. but i need to rough out the early parts... have to build a fanbase, step one.

i really know i need to do this and hopefully things will start to get better from here.

-aiden