time with friends

so, i have begun to realize lately that i am becoming anti-social and a shut in... again. i am trying very hard to not be that way but for some reason i always find myself back in this same situation. i even stopped being online. just sat around not really doing much of anything. how did i become THAT guy? i don't like the way my life is headed so i am going to start trying to make the changes, even if slowly, i need to become the man i know i can be.

i am going to step up for this possible job. i am going to call tomorrow and talk to them about the application i put in and seeing if they were willing to give me an interview or something. i honestly can say that i actually WANT this job. first time since when i worked at michael's... i actually WANT a job.

i am going to work harder at making sure i draw at least a few times a week, maybe even once a day. making sure i post things to my profiles, my art sites, etc. i need to get my creative juices flowing again like they used to be before. when i was angry, i drew... when i was sad, i drew... i need to start getting like that again.

i am going to step up in try to SELL and start producing buyable art. possibly try to get a few clients for tattoo designs and so forth. start charging for things. even if it is on my paypal or something like that. i have ideas.

i am going to try to take better care of myself. this is not just eating. try to do my hair, even if i am not going out. take better care of my skin, use some body and face wash again. just take better all around care of me.

i want to make this all happen. i will clearly have to take some baby steps but this is something that i really want to do and i think that i can do it if i put my heart and soul and effort into it. it will be hard to keep myself motivated in the beginning but if it keeps going and begins a real art career... i will be much more motivated. but i need to rough out the early parts... have to build a fanbase, step one.

i really know i need to do this and hopefully things will start to get better from here.

-aiden