the end of another day

got some more stickers today, again. got a cigar box that i am going to turn into a storage box. i am going to sand it down to be able to put a white primer and then cover it with blacklight paint. it should be interesting. i will be posting the process pictures while i am working on it. 

kat is making pancakes for dinner. i am very excited. ^_^

there are a lot of things happening but at the same time nothing is actually happening. i don't know how to explain it. but i am in the process of starting things again which is probably why it feels like nothing is happening. because it is the beginning part of the process. this is the time i give up because i feel it will never amount to anything. i am trying to stand up to that fear, push myself forward and get my shit together. i am 28 and sick of not being as much as i know i could be. it sounds cliche but i know that i need to get my shit together and i am sick of myself whimping out all the time and just doing nothing about it. 

i am amused at how much i am not a kid person. yet i am a total pet person. i guess i have never really known what to do about kids. i have dated a large percent of mothers verses without kids. and i still am awkward with kids... i mean, i am good with aedan, better than with any other kid i have had in my life other than kayla. i am just not a kid person and find myself highly stressed out and increasingly cranky when around kids. i don't understand why and i kind of am curious as to why i have this issue...

i am going to be trying to get a gym membership in virginia with ashley at the ymca. only thing is driving to virginia to work out is a long way with gas prices going up again... i wish i could get my insurance to just cover 24 hour fitness. it would be great, i could go work out whenever i couldn't sleep or whatever. i could have a work out set schedule. i really wish that i could have a gym membership in our town. i really wish it would work out. 

i didn't sleep last night but i took like a half an hour nap. i really want to go to sleep but at the same time want to hang out and chat with ashley. i know i want to stay up for the pancakes. i mean, come on... pancakes. nom nom nom. i sure do love me some pancakes. they are cakes made in your pan... or something like that. i just love pancakes. ^_^ i have always loved pancakes. i remember as a kid we used to go to IHOP all the time. i miss being able to go to IHOP whenever i wanted. that was great... every sunday we went after church. it was the highlight of my week. i dealt with church so that i could go to coffee hour and eat cookies then IHOP. 

it's moments like that right above that make me realize that i have always had a weird obsession with food. i have always had that problem for as long as i can remember. it is isn't very cool to realize i have been pretty much a fat kid my entire life. i have gone through some good stages where i took care of myself and now i just let myself go over the last 6 years, at least. i wish i could say i tried but i really haven't. i just gave up and didn't care. i don't like feeling that way. i want to get back into feeling better, get back into taking care of me like i used to. doing shit all the time, not letting myself sit and do nothing all the time... get to business doing what i need to do for my art, for my pen pals, for my listia account, etc. i am gonna kick my ass into gear. 

well, anyway. gonna go eat. 

love, peace and chicken grease

-Aiden

spring cleaning

i have been spending days slowly getting rid of more things here and there. i have lots of random things that i am going to sell on my listia account and some that i am selling on my local facebook group that is kind of like craigslist. some of it will be for cash, but the listia account is credits that i can use to get other things for free. i have gotten a TON of stickers off of there for my art desk. i love it. it is a GREAT website. if anyone who is reading this HASN'T checked it out, seriously... check it out. everything is free, except for the occasional shipping fee if you don't filter with just free shipping. i never do anything without free shipping. no, i take that back, i did pay shipping for ONE sticker cause it was TOTALLY worth it. haha




other than that, everything is slowly moving. i am trying to catch up on my letters, even though i don't have stamps to send anything out, but i am hoping i get birthday money from my dad or grandma or something and can use that to get some stamps cause i need them to be able to send out the things i have already auctioned off. and in order for me to be able to post any more auctions to be able to get more credits to buy things, i need to be able to ship things to people. normally that is not all that expensive to send things out but i need stamps to at least send out the stickers i am auctioning off. i have been getting rid of the random stickers that i have in my sticker box since i don't use a HUGE chunk of them anyway.

i am going to be making little mini business cards to send with eaach of my things that i send to people. and then when i auction off or sell any of my artwork i can send that with, as well. :) i have ideas for sure.

let's see... what else... well, my depression and everything else is doing pretty well, other than my anxiety. i am used to that for the most part, though. i take meds for it and they tend to help but not always. i try to not take them all the time because they can be addictive and i don't need to be addicted to anything else again. not going down that road again... been to treatment twice and i am SO ok with not going back. haha

i am going to take pictures of all the stickers that i have gotten. and NOTE... they have ALL been free.

the stack 

section one

section 2

section 3

section 4

section 5

YUP. ALL of those were free. a handful were from some friends of mine but the rest were from going online to random sites and listia. i am still getting more in the mail every day. and i will tell you right now... i can't WAIT to put all of them on my desk. i am in the process of cleaning off the desk so that we can move it to the center of the bedroom so i can load them puppies on there. but i am waiting as i get them so i can put the not as cool ones on the bottom and the cooler ones on the top :) i am way too excited about this. i have a sticker problem... i admit it. one of these days i need to take pictures of all of the things i have covered in stickers so i can show people all the stickers i already had ON things. haha.

well, i have to go pick up the lady from work so i will get back to this later, probably.

peace out
-aiden