ugh

we were without internet for a few weeks. i am trying to break through on a few things emotionally, physically and health wise. it is not working great and i am having a hard time caring. i am trying to kick my ass into gear. i really don't like how i live. i am not as happy as i could be and i know that. i am going to try... keep trying.

i have begun really working on the movie ideas now. getting ideas for plots, the type of zombies, doing makeup research, working on things that are going to be involved in the development of the story. trying a few ideas and trying to figure out what feels right along with what we are capable of having access to film in but still something decent looking enough that it is real. i am really going to be kicking ass at this. i have around 6-8 months to work on the plot, character development and so forth. trying to work on things.baby steps but for sure trying to get other people to help me out with things. i need to try to find someone who is willing to work on the legal aspect of helping make forms, print them off, send them out, keep addresses and phone numbers, etc. i would do it myself but i don't think i can on top of everything else. along with that, i think it would be good to have someone other than me doing the phone stuff. i dunno, i am going to try to see if i can get anyone in the area. that would be great. i wish more of the zombie fans that i know lived closer.

i am trying to get myself to watch more zombie movies, try to read some zombie short stories or stories that people have written. i want to try to see the diffeent aspects and types of zombies out there. i am thinking i am narrowing the type of zombies down pretty well. hopefully should know that for sure by the end of the week.

i think that i am going to write deadlines in my planner that will help me keep on schedule for things. otherwise i have a feeling that i will end up somehow messing it up. i really hope that i can do this.

i have been hungry all the time for the last two or three weeks. i am not sure why but i am always hungry. i am trying to not over eat but it hasn't been working so well. then i went to my friends house and i weighed myself while i was on her scale and i was down to 215. so i lost 2 pounds after eating TONS of food. i really need to start working out because once i start my metabolism is gonna kick my ass but i will masculinize fast, i will feel better... there are so many benefits. i will be so happy to be healthy, be able to run if i need to, be able to walk distances with the dog. i am sick of being lazy and tired all the time. i never used to be this way and i don't want to be. i am 28 years old and i am in worse shape than i have ever been. i don't want to have to be this way for the rest of my life.

looking into props, makeup and everything for the movie got me really excited. i have some really cool ideas and i really think that it can be a real thing and maybe a group of us with start up something. otherwise, i think i might get into trying to do directing little videos, making things for my youtube. it could be really fun to do. i will have to see. i want to talk to my buddy, jens, more about the things that he does and maybe he will come over and we will be able to just hang out and he can show me how he does what he does, what programs, etc.

i am kind of excited for the process of picking music. i want to try to pick a type and some local bands/ smaller time bands that might be willing to let us use their music or a song. i wish i could find someone who would be able to compose or create actually music, also. i am not sure. but i want to try to get some awesome songs.

let's see... trying to think if there is anything else that i can think of at the moment. it is nice to have the internet back again. i need to remember to post youtubes and blogs more again. once i get my new phone in a few weeks i will probably be able to do things from my phone. :) i am excited to get the new phone. very excited.

well, i am going to go for now. might write more in a bit, we will see if i can think of anything to even write about.

-oo-
Aiden

crossing fingers again

I have done some research and am working on figuring out if I can get my insurance to cover my top surgery/ breast reduction. I am hoping the way it is going will continue until it is totally approved but so far so good. one step at a time.

On the 11th Kat and I are going to see Michael Buble in the cities. I am very excited. My mom and step dad got us tickets. This is technically going to be our second date, which I find funny since we are engaged and have been dating for almost 2 years. Having a kid, her working, always being busy with people, being broke and other things have made it a bit difficult. But, this is going to be a great event for us.

So, over the next year or so I am going to be working on the production, writing and so forth of a low budget zombie movie. So, basically at the moment, the biggest part right now is writing. I need something to show people in order to get them willing to invest, willing to take part in it, willing to be a part of the production along with the crew. The crew may be some of the biggest parts that are gonna be difficult along with the cameras and all the professional type gear. I am going to end up advertising for people needed at the colleges. I want to make this happen. I really think that this could be really fun if done right but also something that could be something that could actually be really cool. i think a huge part of it will be finding the equipment and the right people to keep the project going.

I decided to focus most of my efforts at this time on the one project while working slowly on some of my side things like art. But my biggest thing right now will be working on finding other writers and people who can be behind the project to help get things going so we have a script and everything to work with.

I have a few ideas of where and how the movie could be made, some buildings that could be used... thing is making those options usable and accepted by the building owners. i guess we will see for right now but i am hoping that at least one of them will work ok.

so other than those things, there isn't a whole lot going on in my life so i guess that is it for now. :)

-Aiden