Monday, April 8, 2013

getting some things moving... kind of...

trying to get back into signing up for free things, free samples, signing up for sweepstakes and so forth. i got an awesome pair of sunglasses before and a bunch of samples of random things. it is kind of fun. i am going to get back into it and it might help us get some cool stuff. you never know. and it helps give me somewhat of a job type thing along with my art, youtube, blogging and so forth. i am hoping this all starts to work out. i gotta kick my ass into gear, you know?

hopefully the computer won't take a total shit. it is definately slowing down and i know we need a new hard drive. gonna have to try to see if my friend has one so i can replace the part and just have to save everything on here to the external. hopefully it doesn't die before we are able to get the part and everything.

also, if anyone has any bumper stickers, band sickers, etc they don't need or want or see for free if you could send them my way. i can give you my address. i am using them to cover my art desk and in a art piece.

also looking for metal bottle caps, like the ones from beer and root beer bottles. they can be from any kind of drink, doesn't matter. any of those would be great, as well.

i am not sure what else to write right now. i am trying to get used to writing on a regular basis so i am just gonna basically think of random things and write about them. sometimes will be my past, sometimes rants, sometimes just thoughts about life, etc. i dunno. nothing really all that special.

so, i have been thinking about the offer to be on the radio show my friends gave me. i think i might do it. i will have to make sure that it is on a time when aedan isn't here. and preferably kat not being here, also, just because it is easier to talk when it is just me because i am awkward like that. i don't even like talking on the phone and that is basically what we will be doing. i dunno, it's just weird... i am weird on the phone... eeee...

i am looking around on facebook for what all i am supposed to include in my email to mark, one of the hosts of the show. he told me and i thought i had it saved but apparently i did not... so, i have to dig around and figure it out cause i was just giong to try to work on that and just do it through here and hopefully get some input... maybe post it on facebook, too. wish people would read this one, though. i am trying to gather everything to one site and use linking to connect all of my accounts so people can find everything through here. and once i can afford it i will set up a actually website, domain name and everything. i am hoping i can do that within the next year but i really need to get my ass in gear with this shit. ugh.

well, i made a list of some of the things i am going to try to sell, something i just don't want and/ or things i have made and designed, drawn, painted, etc. i am not sure exactly where and how to put everything into this but i am going to take one step at a time and go from there. gonna have to talk to some other people and get some advice and help in setting things up like my paypal and so forth. gonna have to start figuring shit out and going from there.

i am wondering how open and honest i want to start being with my family about things in my life. my friends all pretty much know the few things i worry about my family finding out. but to a degree i think they might already know. i mean, i have a pot leaf tattoed on my leg and i have drank beer in front of them. i am thinking they can deal. i mean, yes, i went to treatment twice [for adderall and ccc's] and i am sober from those things. i don't know. i feel like i am fine and i have no worries. if i had worries or if i was getting bad i know that kat and most of my friends would say something. at least i really hope so.

my therapist last time i went in wanted me to think about what i want to focus on next with our time. i have been thinking about it and i am having a hard time trying to figure it out for sure. i would like to figure out my eating issues, my dysphoria, my lack of motivation to do anything that i always loved like drawing, writing and so forth... something that will be doing me good. i want something along the lines of helping me push past this rut that i have fuond myself it. i hate it here and i want the fuck out.

oh yeah, i am sorry to those of you who might be offended by my swearing but i am just being who i am in this journal/ blog thingy. i am gonna be honest and open about things in hopes that it can help anyone, help me or at least keep track of my life for me down the line.

i really really need to make a youtube video. i keep saying i will but i need to. i want to try to do it when aedan isn't here. but i am sure there will be videos where you will hear him in the background, you know? haha. he is a loud kid and if i record something with the puppy and him or the cats or ferrets, he may end up in there but i am going to try not to get him in anything for privacy sake. haven't really talked to kat about it so i am just going to do.

i am exhausted. i have to try to wake kat up and hopefully i will get a few hour nap.


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