Thursday, March 28, 2013

new ideas and new ambitions

so, i am going to try to work on this page and turning it into a website. doing the best that i can with this site and connecting others so that i can create a full site until i can afford to at least buy a domain name and use it to link things to maybe or something. but i need to get a full site going. have something seperate for my art/ work. but have them all be connected to one home site. and this will be it.

i am turning this into my diary, my poetry journal, my picture gallery, my doodling posting area, my art, random rantings... into one chunk of this is who i am. get to know me.

i am going to be featured on a online radio show in april and am very excited for that. so, the self promoting will begin along with some q & a with two great friends of mine. this is a transition radio station and they interview people with interesting stories, a few decently well known people, and some great conversation. i will admit that i am very nervous because it is live and on the phone. so i am going to have to try very hard to stay focused, not move around a whole lot and try not to go a.d.d. too much. i have to write up a short bio of myself and they come up with the questions. man, i just... i do want to do it for sure... it would be something very awesome, i think. get my name out there and just tell about myself, my art, my writing, etc.

i am trying to be more active on facebook while trying to look for a job. i have decided that i need to try to hold a job down... at least get one. but i will not work in fast food. so i am going to try to put my art skills to work and see what i can do to get some kind of income for creating tattoos, posters for bands, cd covers, stickers, tshirts, logos, etc. this is what i have always wanted to do... i need to focus my ideas into one spot and do it. so, i am going to start my lists of band names, song titles, cd names, etc. then start putting together the booklets, covers, logos, etc. have these in sample folders in my page on facebook. well, damn. that was a good idea. i should start working on that stuff tonight, i think.

so, i am working on taking this into action. i might as well, since i have the time. why not use it to work on getting things started so maybe i can make some extra money.

let's see... it was an amazing day today. just everything was awesome. it was a beautiful day out, 47 degrees. drove around with both windows down and not feeling like i would freeze to death... even in a tshirt! it was sweet. i love that the weather is starting to get better. i can't wait til all the snow is gone completely. that will be an awesome day for sure. i always get excited for spring even though i am allregic to fresh cut grass which means my allergies act up a lot... but i still love watching nothing but white and black turn to brown slowly and blooming into green and purples and yellows and oranges and reds.... it is just amazing. i love color and i love the color in that transition. i wonder if i would be better living in somewhere where it was sunny more often, only problem with that... the heat would be up and i would burn a lot. and i hate heat. i just wonder, cause if i lived in somewhere like florida... how maybe my depression would be a lot lower. it would be just amazing. but could i actually live there?

anyway. i am not sure why i just went into that tangent but there ya go, something to read.

well, i am going to go work on my lists and making some cool stuff for myself. to post on my pages and so forth.


Tuesday, March 26, 2013

time with friends

so, i have begun to realize lately that i am becoming anti-social and a shut in... again. i am trying very hard to not be that way but for some reason i always find myself back in this same situation. i even stopped being online. just sat around not really doing much of anything. how did i become THAT guy? i don't like the way my life is headed so i am going to start trying to make the changes, even if slowly, i need to become the man i know i can be.

i am going to step up for this possible job. i am going to call tomorrow and talk to them about the application i put in and seeing if they were willing to give me an interview or something. i honestly can say that i actually WANT this job. first time since when i worked at michael's... i actually WANT a job.

i am going to work harder at making sure i draw at least a few times a week, maybe even once a day. making sure i post things to my profiles, my art sites, etc. i need to get my creative juices flowing again like they used to be before. when i was angry, i drew... when i was sad, i drew... i need to start getting like that again.

i am going to step up in try to SELL and start producing buyable art. possibly try to get a few clients for tattoo designs and so forth. start charging for things. even if it is on my paypal or something like that. i have ideas.

i am going to try to take better care of myself. this is not just eating. try to do my hair, even if i am not going out. take better care of my skin, use some body and face wash again. just take better all around care of me.

i want to make this all happen. i will clearly have to take some baby steps but this is something that i really want to do and i think that i can do it if i put my heart and soul and effort into it. it will be hard to keep myself motivated in the beginning but if it keeps going and begins a real art career... i will be much more motivated. but i need to rough out the early parts... have to build a fanbase, step one.

i really know i need to do this and hopefully things will start to get better from here.


Thursday, March 21, 2013

adult content... talking about fake penises...

just ordered myself a new packer. i used to have a pack and pee...

pissin' passin' packer

which was a great product, however, i just couldn't get it to work for me so i decided i am going to just sit and pee and get a packer.

this is the one, i just ordered from

now, due to the lack of money and the inability to find the type and size of a harness that i like, i am going to make my own. i found an awesome simmple step by step guide that is to make the type similar to boxer briefs.

right here

so, pretty excited to get it in the mail. i will make sure to post something, maybe a video about it or something on my reviews.


Tuesday, March 12, 2013

ALL my LINKS and xbox screen name


i have a 420 group but you must be listed as my friend to be added to this group. i also have another one for ftm guys in the state of minnesota.
if you are interested in either please let me know on facebook.
my facebook

for my fellow zombie addicted ladies and gentlemen. all zombies.
Zombie Addicts Anonymous

gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and allies loving in minnesota
GLBTA Minnesota

people who love, live and breathe batman. or just really like him.
Batman Addicts Anonymous





my xbox 360 screen name is ihavemagicpants

Sunday, March 3, 2013

so, back to this blogging thing... again

so, normally, i don't do the blogging thing much anymore but i realize that is something that i used to love to do and kept up on. so, i am going to go ahead and try to do this all again.

engaged. never thought i would be engaged for serious. there were those times back in the day when i talked to people about getting married and we threw it around but it was never serious. now, i am engaged to an amazing woman, kat. we have a car. we live in a decent apartment even though we plan on getting somewhere better hopefully within the next year. we have 2 cats that are hilarious and cute, a dog who drives us nuts but makes us laugh a lot, and two fiesty little ferrets and a insanely unique little kid, [kat's son, aedan]. our life together has been pretty great so far and i look forward to the rest of my life with her.

Kat and I with our new car. 2005 Hyandai Sonota.

i have been on testosterone for over a year and a month now. a lot has been changing. my voice dropped, more hair growing everywhere, acne, sexual levels are shifting, always hungry... my depression as gotten a little better but my anxiety has gone up a little bit. i am beginning to feel more and more comfortable in my skin and mentally things are starting to line up.

pre-t. 1 year on t.
i am not sure what all to write about right now. i will work on a survey or something right now to kind of do a 'when i first started this blog this is where i was in my life' kind of thing.


-magic pants out-